Learn When to Say No E-mail

by Swami Radhanandaji

In society, we expect everyone around us to respect and praise us. We want their total confidence. We feel great when people come to us for help and advice. Is there any one who does not harbor such feelings? In reality, such a desire or an expectation is very harmful and can ruin us.

abhyas14
  hato va  prapsyasi svargam   jitva  va  bhoksyase mahim
  "Your own true attainment through righteous means itself is a success for everyone around you." -- Gita 2:37

We often want to impress others with our achievements. Meanwhile, we ignore our basic responsibility towards our own family and compromise for wrong values. It is common for people with such desires to run all over, lose their power of discrimination and end up hurting everyone including themselves. We tend to say "yes," where in reality we should be saying "no," and vice versa.

Most of us find all the time and energy for the material world, but cannot spare even few minutes to study something like Gitaji for our true spiritual advancement.

Even though it's difficult to turn down improper things, we must make an effort. First, do not consent to anything without analyzing thoroughly about immediate and long term consequences. Be truthful about your previous commitments and new obligations. An honest person will not have any hesitation to turning down a new responsibility when it is not necessary. Many so-called social workers ignore their own families before undertaking the mammoth task of helping others. Needless to say they fail on both fronts.

There is absolutely no loss to any one whatsoever when we choose to do the right thing. You must say "no" to wrong customs, beliefs, cowardice, fear, embarrassment, or helplessness. There is nothing wrong in it.

Let us make a firm commitment of not to say "yes" when we should rather say "no." May God give us the power to discriminate between good and bad, and act wisely.

"Whenever you have leisure, go into solitude for a day or two. At that time don't hold any conversation on worldly affairs. Live either in solitude or in the company of the holy."-- Sri Ramakrishna
Last Updated ( Friday, 20 April 2007 )
 
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Quotes

“Minds are of two kinds: one kind elevates, the other debases. Let us properly reflect over this and learn to distinguish one from the other.” – M.K. Gandhi