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by Swami Radhanandaji
In society, we expect everyone around us to respect and praise us. We want their total confidence. We feel great when people come to us for help and advice. Is there any one who does not harbor such feelings? In reality, such a desire or an expectation is very harmful and can ruin us.
hato va prapsyasi svargam jitva va
bhoksyase mahim
"Your own true attainment through righteous means itself is a success
for everyone around you." -- Gita 2:37
We often want to impress others with our achievements. Meanwhile, we
ignore our basic responsibility towards our own family and compromise
for wrong values. It is common for people with such desires to run all
over, lose their power of discrimination and end up hurting everyone
including themselves. We tend to say "yes," where in reality we should
be saying "no," and vice versa.
Most of us find all the time
and energy for the material world, but cannot spare even few minutes to
study something like Gitaji for our true spiritual advancement.
Even
though it's difficult to turn down improper things, we must make an effort.
First, do not consent to anything without analyzing thoroughly about
immediate and long term consequences. Be truthful about your previous
commitments and new obligations. An honest person will not have any
hesitation to turning down a new responsibility when it is not
necessary. Many so-called social workers ignore their own families
before undertaking the mammoth task of helping others. Needless to say
they fail on both fronts.
There is absolutely no loss to any one whatsoever when we choose to do the right thing. You must say "no" to wrong customs, beliefs, cowardice, fear, embarrassment, or helplessness. There is nothing wrong in it.
Let us make a firm commitment of not to
say "yes" when we should rather say "no." May God give us the power to
discriminate between good and bad, and act wisely.
"Whenever you have leisure, go into solitude for
a day or two. At that time don't hold any conversation on worldly
affairs. Live either in solitude or in the company of the holy."-- Sri
Ramakrishna
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Spirituality 
