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Why do people judge others from their outer appearance? E-mail

We are sometimes mistaught certain things in life or religion and we just go by that and nothing else. It is a prejudice just like how in India, often when a boy looks for a girl, he looks for someone who is fair. If she is dark, he will reject her, even if she is smart and has a good nature.

Often in selecting a marriage partner, instead of looking at the boy's or the girl's character, people in generally go by their looks, education, or money. All these things are considered judging from outside appearance only. In such relations you don't know whether your nature will match or not. There will be conflicts and friction with each other.

Beauty and physical pleasures are related. Man is misguided and thinks that the major purpose of human life and the body is lust and greed. For lust, people go after their looks. That is nothing but ignorance. Bodies are not for lust. Even animals don't look at bodies for lust. 

It is unfortunate that we judge others by their outer looks only. People are prejudiced against color, family and poverty. We must learn to look at a person, not by appearance or how much wealth they have, but by their character. Outer appearances are not going to make you happy. Outer appearances have very little importance in life.

It is not easy to go into the heart of the person. You have to know the person for a long time. Sanskars, habits, and beliefs are very important. That's why you should take the time and trouble to find the right friends. Don't go only by popularity, looks, or wealth, because they may not last and may mislead you. Look at a person's background, culture, and dependability.

-- Swami Radhanandaji
Last Updated ( Thursday, 30 August 2007 )
 
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“The more experience I gather, the more I realize that man himself is the cause of his happiness as well as his misery.” – M.K. Gandhi