Often -- out of ignorance -- we feel that our relatives, friends, business associates, and are unjust to us. They all appear to be our enemies. We believe that everyone is taking advantage of us, as if they are asking for help just to get their work done. Their behavior seems unjust, and on the top of that, they they try to boss us around. We will often question, "Why do people forget us? How can they forget our birthday or anniversary?" Hence we become miserable and unhappy.

If we analyze ourselves, we will find that the fault lies within us only, not in the outside world. We invite such problems. We encourage all the wrong things. If you think someone is enslaving you, then wake up and prevent it. Without your consent no one can harm you. The culprit is the desire within us.

It might be a new experience for some people, especially for a woman, to stand up for one's rights, to act with confidence and to be independent. But this is the only way. No one can harm you if you act in this world with respect, politeness and abidance to the Truth. Our dignity lies in dignifying others through our own dignity and self-respect.

One has to learn when and how to say "no."  You are responsible for your own downfall. No one else can be blamed but you. No one is responsible for another's misery or pain, but one should always help those who are in pain, if one can. Don't inherit others' problems. If someone is in grief, don't sit with him and grieve. Instead bring him out of grief if you can.

If each and every one of us lived without expectations and with selfless motives, our lives would be successful. 

First learn to take care of yourself. If you are sick, how can you help others who are sick? You can help others only when you have overcome your own misery, pain, lust, and desires. Those who are greedy, selfish, full of lust, vanity, ignorant, attached, proud, and who seek name and fame,  cannot help others.

With continuous spiritual study, effort and selfless service, every person can achieve freedom. Our single most duty is to realize the Lord in this very life by being responsible for all our acts.

--Swami Radhanandaji